Fistfull of Fail
by RedTheReaper
Summary: A poem about how much I hate the abomination known as Sonic '06. Remade.


Had to put is up again, it got deleted because of some dirty language (A-holes! FF has gotten really anal)

Hey, folks! A lot of stuff has happened but I'm finally back here on FF! I made this poem a LONG while ago, now I've finally got it up here. It's good to be on here Reading/Writing fanfiction again, I've missed you guys! I AM aware that some people actually like this... 'game' (although to this day I still can't figure out why) but to me, it's not worth anyone's time or money. I will admit it's not the worst game I've ever played, but I was expecting it to be MUCH better. I do like the music in the game though.

OH! One quick note! To those of you wondering about my fic 'Ask the Brawlers', I promise I'm working on that as you read this. Well, enough of my rambling, enjoy the poem!

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**Fall of a Hedgehog**

It's 2006 on Christmas Day

I got a new game for my 360. Hooray!

It's called Sonic the Hedgehog, the blue blur we know

I take it upstairs and I'm ready to go

I put it in my 360; I'm so filled with joy

This was my reward for being such a good boy

The game started up, oh such great luck

But the first words I let out were "What the f**k!?"

Sonic moved so slow, this must be a joke

The designers must have been snorting coke

Sonic must save a princess, haven't we done that before?

Didn't a red capped plumber try to save some whore?

The physics are a dreadful mountain of poop

What the hell? Sonic can walk on the loop?

Now I'm playing as Tails, his gameplay's just stinkin'

Dummy ring bombs? What the hell were they thinkin'?

I played through the game, didn't mind it somewhat

Until a white hedgehog started kicking my butt

Mr. Weedhead kept me trapped in the air

I cannot escape, man this just isn't fair

I tried to deny it, tried to make an excuse

But no matter how I try, "IT'S NO USE!"

I thought this game would make me happy

Turns out this one was just terribly crappy

Only a knucklehead would enjoy Knuckles' stages

These poorly made levels are freakin' outrageous

Playing as Amy is such a bore

Killing enemies with her is just a chore

Shadow's up next, my favorite hedgehog

Surely his story's better than that last poop log

My hopes for this story did not last

What the heck did they do to his chaos blast!?

His gameplay was better, that's no doubt

But those damn vehicles just need to get out

I felt so tempted to turn off the power

Why on earth won't Rouge get off that tower?

And Omega's voice, just what the hell?

He sounds like a guy a met at Taco Bell (Seriously, true story)

Mephiles appears; what's his game?

I think I know how he got his name (Mephiles)

Shadow meets the white hedgehog who came to the past

Then he thankfully moves in to hand him his ass

This game just sucks, you already know

Only one more craptastic story to go

You thought Sonic was slow? You ain't seen jack

I'm convinced these designers were doin' crack

Silver moves at a painfully slow pace

Even fatass Eggman could beat him in a race

He has psychic powers, that's kinda nice

Too bad it still sucks. Ah, my head needs ice

Blaze the Cat move faster than Sonic

I've no doubt the designers were on chronic

Weedhead's on a quest to find the "Iblis Trigger"

Some Shadow look-alike told him that I figure

He tried to kill Sonic, but didn't succeed

Amy stopped him from doing the Devil's deed

After fighting with Shadow, he decided to quit

He learned that Mephiles was just full of... sugar honey iced tea

He decides to help Sonic and set things right

Man, this story sucks. I need a Bud Lite

The ship crashes. NO! EGGMAN IS DEAD!

What's that? Elise? Screw that stupid airhead!

But Sonic goes back in time to save the day

My God, this plot is totally gay

It's finally over. Wait, what's going on here?

Sonic gets whacked by that backstabbing queer

Iblis is unleashed! We're all doomed, man!

Wait, it's not over. We've got a plan

We must find the emeralds and make a wish

Elise brings back Sonic with a freakin' kiss!?

I'm just disgusted by this PETA faction

I care not to see hedgehog on princess action

The hedgehogs powered up, and there was a fight

You already know who got their butt kicked that night

Elise blew out the flames, and the game was erased

But still, Sonic's name was severely disgraced

The only part of this game that didn't make me see red

Was when Shadow the Hedgehog kicked Silver in the head

I took out the disk and threw it outside

Screw you, Sega! You butt-humpers lied!


End file.
